Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A Note for My Daughters

This is for my daughters. Though they are young and can't read yet, one day they will. After the crazy mess Elize and Zara made today I tried putting Elize to take a nap. She woke up in a terrible mood just as I was ready to serve her dinner. So of course she didn't want it. She only wanted juice. Then that escalates to crying and more crying. I tell her she needs to eat her dinner and for the first time she tells me she doesn't like me, she only likes daddy. She repeats it over and over. 

I was very sad but I did the only thing I could do, I told her I loved her anyway and that I always will. And though she is only 3 now one day she and Zara will be teenagers and we'll have our differences. And even when they upset me the most, I'll still love them. I'll love them more than they'll ever know. And I say this because I know my mother loves me, but only she knows exactly how much! I'm sure I hurt her feelings when I was growing up as I too favored my father, which I now regret because I realized too late all the sacrifices my mother had made and everything that seemed unfair then makes sense now.

You can only realize this type of love after you are a parent, as a child you can never understand how much your parent loves you. When those teen years come and they think I hate them or I'm trying to ruin their life, I'll only be trying to do what's in their best interest. And I'll tell Elize and Zara the same thing I said today. That I love them anyway! 

I can lose my cool but not today!

This is what my little devils like to do when I let them play alone. If it's too quiet, it means big trouble! I can lose my cool but not today. Today I'll take a pic and make Elize put it all back. 

Every single item out of the drawers, desitin on the floor, the teddy bear and on Zara's hair. Now for the clean-up. Damn. This is simply just 1 of the many reasons I can't get anything done at home. Nope! I can't sew, make patterns, drape, nothing. 
Dios Mio!

Here I go again

Ok here we go again. Once again I'm doing research. This time trying to find a sample maker that can make quality samples and patterns without the need for production. All I want to do now is develop my collection. Today I got back in touch with a friend who will send me some contact info for a sample room he knows of here in NYC. Can't wait to get in touch with them. Yesterday I emailed a sample maker I found on craigslist but didn't get a response. So it's ok, there are plenty others. For now I'll keep developing the little black shop designs so that when I do find someone at least I can have something to develop. So here I go once again. Ok, let get going with the little black shop Nutcracker Holiday collection.


Monday, November 23, 2009


I'm hoping that 2010 will be a better year than 2009. 2009 Sucked so bad. I hope the worst is over. It's so interesting. 2009 was such a contrast to 2008. 2008 couldn't have been a better year. It was everything I had ever hoped for. My husband and I saved money, bought our first home and had our second daughter. And then came 2009 and just like that it all changed. I lost my job and almost a year later I still don't have one. 

On another note, I've been so discouraged by my stay-at-home mom blues that completely neglected my little black shop. I was supposed to contact a sample maker regarding my designs last week and I totally forgot. This morning I got to it, emailed a sketch and requested a quote for the cost of producing a sample. I hope I receive a response soon. Can't say I'm out the woods yet with the stay-at-home mom blues but I am trying. The little black shop is the only thing I have to look forward to right now to take out of this horrible situation. 

Friday, November 13, 2009

Growing Restless

I simply will not be satisfied until I can bring my designs to life. Agh I'm dying here. I keep illustrating my ideas and designing but I can't really make any of my designs at home because I have two toddlers who barely allow me to go to the bathroom. So I did research again. This time on craigslist and started looking for a seamstress that can make the pattern and some samples without the requirement for production just yet. I found a few. Next step is to go over this with my husband and see if we can do this. Right now, times are a little tough but who knows, maybe we can spend a little bit of money so I can at least start to have some samples to show. 

It's impossible for any designer to get anywhere without a line of samples. All my illustrations are simply amateur work if I don't back them  up with the real thing. I'm no fool, I know exactly is expected. Right now I'm all talk and not enough substance. But I'm so restless. Any artist that can't express their art will only feel trapped. And yet I've never considered myself an Artist but rather a Designer. Maybe now I'm slowly seeing myself as an artist instead. I have visions now with clarity of what I want. I'm confident in my vision and I believe it them. So I hope that at some point I can get this done. 

When I was working full time I was able to see my work come to life. It was the most exciting thing ever, expecting your package of samples and seeing the results. I miss that. 

One day my Little Black Shop will come to life, one day!


Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Nutcracker Holiday...Coming Soon

This is the beginning behind my latest idea. I need to keep the creativity going so I'm working on designing a collection based on The Nutcracker.  More coming soon.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Great Resource for mom's

Here's a great website a friend shared with me today. Simple and easy to use. Great for finding and sharing parenting advice. http://bit.ly/5f2Wk

Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Best Virtual Online Makeover Website

I just needed to recommend this website to all ladies that like to play around with makeup  and stuff. This is by far the best virtual makeover website ever! Most websites I've tried before have such fake results but this one is amazing, Looks perfectly natural, and tells you what products to use by brand. Check it out.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Is it time for a new career?

I've spent some time thinking this past week that I would hate to just drift into oblivion and become a permanent stay at home mom and housewife. You know that is just not what I want for myself. I actually like earning my own money and feeling like I am making a contribution to society. Having said that I've always admired people that work in the medical field, law, and education. These are the people that have the power to affect people's lives. Working in the fashion industry is rewarding in the sense that I can have a way to express my creative ideas but you rarely get the chance to really make a difference. I guess you can also say that the world of art and music is just as important as the rest, after all what would the world be without art and music? It's what gives us inspiration towards something bigger than ourselves. 

Still, I don't want to wait around forever for the fashion industry to finally turn around. I really do want to go back to design, it's what I love but don't want to waste my time either. At some point I'll have to make a final decision. Definitely before my unemployment runs out. I've been thinking, what if I go back to school, grad school to be exact and start a new career in education? 

I would find it rewarding to work with children and teach them that they can be anything they want to be. I would like to inspire them and give them confidence. Tell them that I believe in them and that there's a whole world of opportunity waiting just for them. I feel for kids that come from broken homes or families that don't encourage their growth and education. I've seen it and it's just so sad. At any age kids need someone to look up to but I believe it has to start at a very young age. The younger the better to plant the seed in the mind that they can be anything and surpass any difficulties they may have growing up and is out of their control. 

When I was in 7th grade, I didn't know it then but I had a teacher that influenced me so much. In many ways he helped shaped the person I am today. Before he became a teacher he was an actor. One day he showed up to class and showed us a video of him in a soap opera scene with the actress from "Who's the Boss?" I forget her name but she was the blonde lady. All the students were impressed and I always wondered why would an actor go into teaching? He was a very righteous person. I remember a project he gave us to research civil rights. I did my project on the women's suffrage movement, specifically Susan B. Anthony. That project opened my eyes to realize that women deserve equal rights as men and should always be treated with the same respect. It created the feminist in me. Then there was the time someone in class used the "N" word and he just exploded and was so upset that someone would even dare use that word. He took the time to explain just what it meant and how offensive it was. He was great!

So for now I'll keep my eyes open for Fashion Design jobs. I'm not gonna give up just yet but will start my research for a career in education as a back-up. There is definitely a trade off salary wise but at this point, it doesn't even matter. I think it would be nice to have a career where you can actually make a difference in someone's life, so we'll see what happens. I'll keep you all updated of course. 

Oh and BTW I have not given up my dream for the Little Black Shop! Nope that's still a dream and maybe one day I will be able to accomplish it.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Day at the Museum

Today we had a day at the museum. The plan was to go to the Guggenheim which was celebrating it's 50th anniversary and then head over to the American Museum of Natural History but since it was the Guggenheim's 50th anniversary and the entrance was free there was huge line which I was not willing to make to get in. I should have known better so we decided to just go to the American Museum of Natural History. We saw the Journey to the Stars presentation and it was amazing. I think Elize really enjoyed, such a beautiful portrayal of the birth of our Universe and Sun, I highly recommend that you check it out. My husband Eliu tells me that they have program for kids where they can go and sleep-over with story telling and such. I'll wait until Zara is a little older so they can both participate, I can't wait, should be fun. That's it for now, hope you enjoy these pics!