A Note for My Daughters

This is for my daughters. Though they are young and can't read yet, one day they will. After the crazy mess Elize and Zara made today I tried putting Elize to take a nap. She woke up in a terrible mood just as I was ready to serve her dinner. So of course she didn't want it. She only wanted juice. Then that escalates to crying and more crying. I tell her she needs to eat her dinner and for the first time she tells me she doesn't like me, she only likes daddy. She repeats it over and over. 

I was very sad but I did the only thing I could do, I told her I loved her anyway and that I always will. And though she is only 3 now one day she and Zara will be teenagers and we'll have our differences. And even when they upset me the most, I'll still love them. I'll love them more than they'll ever know. And I say this because I know my mother loves me, but only she knows exactly how much! I'm sure I hurt her feelings when I was growing up as I too favored my father, which I now regret because I realized too late all the sacrifices my mother had made and everything that seemed unfair then makes sense now.

You can only realize this type of love after you are a parent, as a child you can never understand how much your parent loves you. When those teen years come and they think I hate them or I'm trying to ruin their life, I'll only be trying to do what's in their best interest. And I'll tell Elize and Zara the same thing I said today. That I love them anyway! 

I can lose my cool but not today!

This is what my little devils like to do when I let them play alone. If it's too quiet, it means big trouble! I can lose my cool but not today. Today I'll take a pic and make Elize put it all back. 


Every single item out of the drawers, desitin on the floor, the teddy bear and on Zara's hair. Now for the clean-up. Damn. This is simply just 1 of the many reasons I can't get anything done at home. Nope! I can't sew, make patterns, drape, nothing. 
Dios Mio!

Here I go again

Ok here we go again. Once again I'm doing research. This time trying to find a sample maker that can make quality samples and patterns without the need for production. All I want to do now is develop my collection. Today I got back in touch with a friend who will send me some contact info for a sample room he knows of here in NYC. Can't wait to get in touch with them. Yesterday I emailed a sample maker I found on craigslist but didn't get a response. So it's ok, there are plenty others. For now I'll keep developing the little black shop designs so that when I do find someone at least I can have something to develop. So here I go once again. Ok, let get going with the little black shop Nutcracker Holiday collection.

-Alex

2010

I'm hoping that 2010 will be a better year than 2009. 2009 Sucked so bad. I hope the worst is over. It's so interesting. 2009 was such a contrast to 2008. 2008 couldn't have been a better year. It was everything I had ever hoped for. My husband and I saved money, bought our first home and had our second daughter. And then came 2009 and just like that it all changed. I lost my job and almost a year later I still don't have one. 

On another note, I've been so discouraged by my stay-at-home mom blues that completely neglected my little black shop. I was supposed to contact a sample maker regarding my designs last week and I totally forgot. This morning I got to it, emailed a sketch and requested a quote for the cost of producing a sample. I hope I receive a response soon. Can't say I'm out the woods yet with the stay-at-home mom blues but I am trying. The little black shop is the only thing I have to look forward to right now to take out of this horrible situation. 

Growing Restless

I simply will not be satisfied until I can bring my designs to life. Agh I'm dying here. I keep illustrating my ideas and designing but I can't really make any of my designs at home because I have two toddlers who barely allow me to go to the bathroom. So I did research again. This time on craigslist and started looking for a seamstress that can make the pattern and some samples without the requirement for production just yet. I found a few. Next step is to go over this with my husband and see if we can do this. Right now, times are a little tough but who knows, maybe we can spend a little bit of money so I can at least start to have some samples to show. 

It's impossible for any designer to get anywhere without a line of samples. All my illustrations are simply amateur work if I don't back them  up with the real thing. I'm no fool, I know exactly is expected. Right now I'm all talk and not enough substance. But I'm so restless. Any artist that can't express their art will only feel trapped. And yet I've never considered myself an Artist but rather a Designer. Maybe now I'm slowly seeing myself as an artist instead. I have visions now with clarity of what I want. I'm confident in my vision and I believe it them. So I hope that at some point I can get this done. 

When I was working full time I was able to see my work come to life. It was the most exciting thing ever, expecting your package of samples and seeing the results. I miss that. 

One day my Little Black Shop will come to life, one day!

-Alex

The Nutcracker Holiday...Coming Soon

This is the beginning behind my latest idea. I need to keep the creativity going so I'm working on designing a collection based on The Nutcracker.  More coming soon.

Great Resource for mom's

Here's a great website a friend shared with me today. Simple and easy to use. Great for finding and sharing parenting advice. http://bit.ly/5f2Wk